I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
- Pablo Neruda
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
- Pablo Neruda
4.4 Better Future
Kellie
I still couldn't believe I was picked for this job out of so many candidates. There must have been hundreds of them. This was very prestigeous job in the best research facility in the country. And yet here I was, walking toward the large modern research complex. I was so excited! This was everything I'd been dreaming about. Here I can start making a difference.
I waited at the reception desk until a young man not much older than me by his looks picked me there. He introduced himself as Gabriel Cole, level 3 lab technician. He informed me we'll be working in the same section. As a lvl 1 lab technician I'll be under his direct supervision.
I waited at the reception desk until a young man not much older than me by his looks picked me there. He introduced himself as Gabriel Cole, level 3 lab technician. He informed me we'll be working in the same section. As a lvl 1 lab technician I'll be under his direct supervision.
"I hope you have all the necessary papers signed and are ready to start your first working day," he said.
"Yes, I went through all that signing yesterday. Got my access card and other stuff too."
"Well then, welcome to Better Future Labs, Kellie Heffner."
Gabriel then showed me our office and my table. When he told me I'll be sitting next to the giant microscope I had to restrain myself not to start squealing. He must have noticed my enthusiasm because he then said I could catalogize the newest samples for the rest of the day, meaning I would be working on that giant machine! A.W.E.S.O.M.E. My first day and I already get to play with the hi-tech equipment!
"Glad to see you are so eager to start working," he remarked amused and looked at me with a new interest. "We can have a drink together after work if you want. To get to know each other if you know what I mean."
It couldn't hurt to get to know my new colleague better. I almost said yes, but then I remembered I had already planned a date with Thomas for the evening. Before I could tell Gabriel, his phone rang and he answered it. "Yes, I know. Just wait a minute," he said into it and noded at me. "Kellie, why don't you put on your lab coat, I want to show you something after I finish this call."
I did as he told me. As I was changing into my working clothes in the adjacent room, I heard Gabriel's voice speaking to the caller.
"I'll meet you at the usual spot in ten minutes. But don't forget to tell your boss that he'll have to be more generous if he wants my further cooperation."
"Problems?" I asked when he finished the call.
"Nah. Just the usual. Sections competing for better funds, favours for favours, yada, yada." He grabbed his own lab coat and motioned to the door and winked at me. Since our boss is not here yet, I can give you a tour around here and show you the most interesting stuff. Ready to plunge into mysteries of this madhouse?"
I grinned at him. "You bet."
We descended to the subterranean level. I wanted to see every corner of this place, peek in every room and find out what are people working on in there.
"We are about to enter the restricted area," Gabriel said. "You are not allowed there yet, but lucky for you I'm an owner of a key or rather a card that unlocks all doors."
I was wondering how a lvl 3 lab tech got to own one, but I kept my mouth shut. Curiosity killed the cat. You start asking questions and you won't see anything, Kellie. Shoo questions.
Gabriel unlocked two reinforced doors and led me into a large lab. There were several working stations but no people at them. I thought it weird. Then I saw the three large tanks filled with something what must have been a conservative solution. Because something floated in one of them.
I couldn't believe my eyes. "Oh watcher! Is it really...?" I gasped.
"... an alien? Yes. Pretty cool, huh?" Gabriel was enjoying this moment, clearly proud of himself as if it was him who had brought this thing... being... female... into existence.
The woman floated in the tank, her long hair undulating around her naked form making her look like a mermaid. Strange markings were covering her arms and throat and face. Tattoos?
"She's beautiful," was all I managed to say in the first moment, overwhelmed by the fact that the aliens were not a fantasy. Gabriel must have seen her hundred of times, yet he was excited almost as much as I was.
"What's the purpose of those markings? Is it just a tattoo or something else?" I asked.
Gabriel shrugged. "We don't know. It looks like a tattoo but it is engraved deeper into her skin and tissue than tattoos we know. Looks similar to printed circuits, doesn't it? We are still studying them as well as the rest of her. We may never learn the purpose of the markings. It is possible they only worked when she was alive. Imagine the things we could learn from studying and experimenting on a living subject!"
I frowned. "But that would be unethical."
Gabriel chuckled. "I recommend not mentioning this in front of the managers."
I frowned. "Why?"
"They care about the results more than ethics. And so does our government, even though they would never say it publicly. Why do you think we are so well funded?"
"What? That's terrible! I can't believe it! At school they emphasized the ethical code to us."
"Forget everything they taught you at school. You won't use seventy percent of what you learned there. This is real life."
I didn't like what I heard. I hoped he was just exaggerating.
"How did she even get here?" changing a topic sounded like a good idea at the moment. I could think about what Gabriel said of the working ethics of our management later.
"Apparently our lab was notified of her existence by a staff member in Willow Creek hospital. The paramedics responded to an emergency call. This woman - she didn't look like this then, of course - had some kind of seizure in public and the good people called the ambulance. To everyone's surprise she refused the help, but when she blacked out they took her to the hospital anyway. They couldn't save her though. She died and couldn't maintain her disguise anymore. That's how they found out what she was and contacted us."
"But if they live among us incidents like this should be happening more often. The odds are against them."
"Maybe there's less of them here than all the conspirationists believe. Or there might be another answer to that. Our research suggests they posses remarkable regenerative abilities. Perhaps they normally don't get ill and don't need our help at all. She could have been just a deviation. Genetic anomaly?"
"What about accidents? No, there's no way they could escape our attention forever, unless she's a lonely explorer."
"Let's hope not. We need more data. All of us here hope to find another, a living one. I would really love to know how..."
"Apparently our lab was notified of her existence by a staff member in Willow Creek hospital. The paramedics responded to an emergency call. This woman - she didn't look like this then, of course - had some kind of seizure in public and the good people called the ambulance. To everyone's surprise she refused the help, but when she blacked out they took her to the hospital anyway. They couldn't save her though. She died and couldn't maintain her disguise anymore. That's how they found out what she was and contacted us."
"But if they live among us incidents like this should be happening more often. The odds are against them."
"Maybe there's less of them here than all the conspirationists believe. Or there might be another answer to that. Our research suggests they posses remarkable regenerative abilities. Perhaps they normally don't get ill and don't need our help at all. She could have been just a deviation. Genetic anomaly?"
"What about accidents? No, there's no way they could escape our attention forever, unless she's a lonely explorer."
"Let's hope not. We need more data. All of us here hope to find another, a living one. I would really love to know how..."
But I didn't get to l learn what Gabriel would love to know because we were startled by our angry boss.
"What the hell are you two doing here?! Gabriel! What did I tell you about wandering about the restricted area? Don't you have work to do?! A thesis to write? And who is this?"
Great, I managed to make my boss angry on the first day! I felt my face turning red. Gabriel looked taken aback but he recovered quickly. "Professor Morgan, this is Kellie Heffner, our new assistant. I was giving her a tour."
"And you couldn't come up with a better idea than taking her to the restricted area on her first day? " Professor shot me a glare. "And you, miss Heffner, let me remind you that you have signed the confidentiality agreement as every new employee does. You can't speak about anything we do and you see here with anyone outside this facility. Not even with your family members. Is that clear?"
"Of course, professor Morgan," I peeped.
For the rest of the day I was a good Kellie and catalogized samples and worked on the microscope, although it felt more like a reward than a punishment for me being too curious.
* * * * *
Thomas
Two months. That's how long I've been officially dating Kellie. And it didn't feel much different than before. Well, I got to touch her and kiss her now, but I couldn't shake the feeling that unlike me she would get by without me just fine. Where my heart rate would increase with every kiss, her remained steady. Her smiles, the sound of her voice, her scent, the sensation of her warm body in my arms... well, pretty much everything about her was driving me up the proverbial wall. I would without hesitation skip the whole dating part and marry her right away. I knew she was the one. But this was Kellie. A man had to tread carefully not to scare her away.
Or maybe I should enter a monastery. I already felt like a monk anyway.
Tonight it's a dinner at a restaurant. We would converse over a delicious food and I'd be pretending I'm a civilized man while my thoughts would be completely uncivilized and primitive.
Here she was coming with a pep in her step. "I'm so happy to see you!" she singed out.
I jumped to my feet to greet her lovingly. It wasn't every day that she expressed such enthusiasm for my presence. I looked over my shoulder and pretended to be searching for another person she might have greeted. It made her laugh.
"Thomas! I'm talking to you, of course!"
I gave her a suspicious eye.
"What is it?" she asked amused.
"Are you the same person who entered this institute in the morning? You could be a mischievous clone. This place is surrounded by mystery you know. They conduct secret experiments in there, develop lethal bio weapons and stuff."
"Oh, you have no idea. But I'm the same me as the last time you saw me."
"I don't know. You look more beautiful than the last time. Are you sure they didn't inject you with some beauty enhancers?"
She broke into laughter again. "I'm pretty sure they have nothing of that sort there. At least not in the section I'm working. But I appreciate the compliment."
"Does it mean I deserve a reward?"
"You most certainly do!"
I hoped for a kiss and got a hug instead. Oh well... One step forward, two steps back.
"I'm starving. Are we going to the restaurant or not?" she said when she left my sphere of influence.
"Aha! That's why you're so happy to see me! I'm the means to satisfy your basic needs!"
She chuckled. "Maybe. No, I'm kidding. I like spending time with you, you know that. Let's go already or do you want your girlfriend to pass out from hunger right here?"
I took her to Sapphire Blowfish restaurant in Oasis Springs. They were renowned for their seafood dishes.
"It seems that every time we go to a restaurant together we never get the table I want for us. I really hoped we would get the one by the fish tank. I thought you'd like it."
"Actually, I'm glad we didn't. The fish tank reminds me of something I saw at work today."
"Oh?"
"I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to talk about it, because of the confidentiality agreement, you know."
We ordered our food and it was just like I thought. While we were chatting my mind was flooded by very un-gentlemanlike ideas. I wished Kellie had just a little shameless streak in her. It would make things so much easier for me.
"So what was your first day at work like?" I asked.
"Oh, it was fantastic! Everything is so top-notch there. I was operating a giant bio microscope today and..." She had this distant look in her eyes and I felt like a complete jerk because I was jealous even of that damned machine that elicited such passion in her. Which was more than I could do.
"...Gabriel also took me to the restricted area. Our boss caught us there. It was embarrassing. But the things I saw there! You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
Wait a minute. Gabriel? "Who is Gabriel?"
"He's my supervisor. He's few years older than me, working on his PhD too. He showed me around, even invited me for a drink. I passed of course, since we had a date planned for today."
I reached for my glass and swallowed a mouthful of wine to wash down the bile that started rising up my throat. Few years older than her. Invited her for a drink. I felt my jaw muscles stiffening. "Didn't you say you'll only be working with some old professors?"
"Yes, but it's not a big surprise that there are other interns like me working to get their degree."
Maybe not to you, but it's definitely a hell of a surprise for me. No need to say that this info was a huge mood killer for me. For the rest of the dinner I had to force a smile on my face, while in my head I was strangling this Gabriel guy to his death.
After the dinner I walked Kellie home. Before we said goodnight to each other I kissed her with desperation stemming from my constant insecurity regarding the future of our relationship. I won't say that we kissed, rather that she let me kiss her. It was always me who initiated all displays of affection.
"Do you love me, Kellie?"
And there it was again - the brief hesitation that broke my heart a bit every time. "Of course I do, Thomas."
Damn, I'm one of them! I realized. I'm like one of those girls I used to date in high school before I met Kellie. They tended to get clingy and as I was losing my interest in them they grew desperate and asked for reassurance more and more often until I had to start avoiding them completely. And here I was, begging for reassurance from a girl whose love I felt was slipping away or I may have never really had it. All my attempts to keep her mine screamed despair. But she had given me hope when she agreed to be my girlfriend. I clutched at it like a drowning man. And I was drowning.
In my darkest moments I even considered taking what I so desperately desired by force and I hated myself for it immediately. I loved Kellie to the point of madness. I didn't know what I would do if I had to give her up. She was my sun, but I still wasn't hers and it was killing me. Was this a punishment for all those hearts I had broken as a teenager? Had all the girls felt like this when they couldn't make me love them?
Note: builds used in this chapter by Sueladysims and Mgh81mgh81; poses by IMHO and Mysterysims