Heartache is knocking on her door
Shadows dance outside her window
Tears keep falling on the floor
As the world around her crumbles
(Circle of Fear - HIM)
Shadows dance outside her window
Tears keep falling on the floor
As the world around her crumbles
(Circle of Fear - HIM)
4.23 The Princess and The Rogue (Part I.)
Kellie
I checked the clock again. For how many times now? One hour to my shift. The closer I was to carrying out my plan the more terrified I felt. Oh, Watcher, I'm not brave enough to do this. There's not enough time to take care of everything. Not enough time to say proper goodbye, in case I won't come back home. One thing I knew for sure, after tonight I would be unemployed at best. In the worst case scenario the soldiers will shoot both Tony and me to death.
I checked the clock again. For how many times now? One hour to my shift. The closer I was to carrying out my plan the more terrified I felt. Oh, Watcher, I'm not brave enough to do this. There's not enough time to take care of everything. Not enough time to say proper goodbye, in case I won't come back home. One thing I knew for sure, after tonight I would be unemployed at best. In the worst case scenario the soldiers will shoot both Tony and me to death.
Fear like a giant's hand was clenching my heart. I dreaded to go to the lab and I dreaded not to at the same time. What if they moved Tony elsewhere, when I wasn't there? Or worse, what if they already started removing his eyes and other organs? Each time I thought of that I wanted to drop everything and run to the lab straight away. But I had to stick to the schedule and the plan. Anything out of ordinary could raise suspicion and make the soldiers more alert. Since Tony was put in the quarantine they have dropped their guard. Confined to bed and delirious Tony posed no threat to anyone and thus didn't require constant watching. No, I couldn't arrive earlier, they needed to be lulled into a false sense of security by daily routine and things going as usual.
For one last time I considered telling Chris, but decided against it. If things went terribly wrong, he would be best protected not knowing anything.
He was so distant again tonight. More than ever I missed the days when the two of us could talk about anything. But tonight he only spoke to me to tell me Terry Mitchel was coming to dinner on Sunday.
It would be so nice to have to worry only about the dinner preparations instead of eliminating the lab staff from my shift, initiating emergency lockdown and breaking out the most closely observed subject who also happens to be Chris' father. I wished I could fastforward so that it was already over one way or another.
The worst part was going upstairs to say goodbye to Celeste. When I saw her, our little innocent angel, I almost abandoned the whole plan. How could I do this to her? Poor little Celeste, she had already lost so much. Who was going to take care of her if something happens to me? Chris couldn't even buy all things from the shopping list I sent him, how could I rely on him to take care of our sister? His mind was always preoccupied with other stuff. I knew the legacy and its goals rested heavily on his shoulders and I understood. That's why I had taken it upon myself to make sure Celeste is raised well.
However, Tony was the one who needed me most right now. He was in danger and had no one else to help him. Chris and Celeste will have to find a way to rely on each other if things don't go well tonight.
"Bedtime, Celeste," I said entering my sister's room.
She looked up from her toy and smiled. "Okay." She got up and put away the toy, then sat on her bed. She was such a good kid, I couldn't understand why Chris always complained about her being unruly.
"Have you done all your homework?" I asked.
"I have."
"Did you brush your teeth?"
She nodded and showed me her pearly white teeth in a broad smile. "Will you tell me about my dad again?" she asked.
"Not tonight, angel. Besides, I already told you the little I knew about him. I went to Europe after our mom and your dad got married. Chris spent more time around him than I did. You should ask him when he drives you to school tomorrow."
She grimaced. I knew she didn't like it when Chris drove her to school.
"He never sings," she told me once. When I drove her, we sang to the song in the radio. When a song was in foreign language, we would come up with our own similar sounding words and sang and laughed together. Chris didn't sing with Celeste. She told me he would rather turn the radio off not to distract him from driving. "He's old and grumpy like Methuselah," she said.
Old? My initial reaction was to laugh. When I thought about it later, I realized our little sister was right and it bothered me. Chris and I were in our mid-twenties, still young, and yet old. Older than our peers. I could see it in my brother's eyes, I could see it in mine whenever I looked in the mirror. We were bruised and scarred on the inside, we were derailed and lost. None of us was happy. As if an essential part of us was missing. We carried an empty space within us. I had tried to fill it with Thomas, Chris with many different girls and work.
"Do you remember what I told you about our brother, Celeste?"
She frowned. "You said he's hurting inside."
"That's right, angel. Do you also remember why?"
"Because he saw bad things. He saw how our mom and dad died."
"Yes, angel, and it changed him. That's why he smiles so rarely and is grumpy all the time as you put it. I know he seems cold to you, but he loves you. I know he does. He's just... afraid he might lose you and me as well."
She pursed her lips. "But he's been like that ever since I remember. Why isn't he like you? When will he stop hurting?"
How can one even answer such questions? "I don't know. Maybe never. But I'd like to believe he will heal some day."
"Listen, little angel. I have to do something important tonight," I said and kissed her hair. "I must help someone, because no one else will. It may get me into a big trouble and Chris will probably be very mad at me. But sometimes you have to do what your heart tells you is right, even though everyone around you says it's wrong. Because in the end it's only your conscience you answer to. I'm doing this for Chris too. Somebody needs to save his soul if he can't do it himself."
"Is it dangerous?" she asked.
"Yes." There was no point lying to her.
"Are you going to die?"
Oh Watcher. "I hope not. However, if things don't go well, I might not be able to come home for a long time." Maybe never.
Celeste inhaled sharply. "I'm coming with you," she said. "I want to help you."
I swallowed hard and blinked several times. Don't let her see your tears. "No, you can't go with me, sweetie, but you can do something else for me. Keep an eye on Chris if I don't come back home soon. Can you do that for me? You and Chris must stick together. Do you understand?"
"Please, don't go, Kellie."
I hated myself for scaring her like this, but I had to say goodbye. I knew I was being selfish. Saying it all aloud helped strengthen my resolve and I also drew strength from her small body in my arms. I was ready to leave now. "It is most important that I do, little angel. Someone is going to die if I don't help them. If only it had been in my power to do something for your parents as well all those years ago."
"Is it dangerous?" she asked.
"Yes." There was no point lying to her.
"Are you going to die?"
Oh Watcher. "I hope not. However, if things don't go well, I might not be able to come home for a long time." Maybe never.
Celeste inhaled sharply. "I'm coming with you," she said. "I want to help you."
I swallowed hard and blinked several times. Don't let her see your tears. "No, you can't go with me, sweetie, but you can do something else for me. Keep an eye on Chris if I don't come back home soon. Can you do that for me? You and Chris must stick together. Do you understand?"
"Please, don't go, Kellie."
I hated myself for scaring her like this, but I had to say goodbye. I knew I was being selfish. Saying it all aloud helped strengthen my resolve and I also drew strength from her small body in my arms. I was ready to leave now. "It is most important that I do, little angel. Someone is going to die if I don't help them. If only it had been in my power to do something for your parents as well all those years ago."
"Don't leave, Kellie. Not you too," Celeste whimpered when I was tucking her in. I felt like the worst sister in the world.
"I have to. Don't forget what I told you about Chris. Now try to sleep. I love you."
As I was leaving I checked up on Chris for the last time. He was standing at the window, lost in thoughts. Last time he was in one of these moods Tony ended up in jail. I almost asked him not to do anything foolish again, but I stopped myself in time. What a hypocrite I would be. I myself was on my way to do something really crazy and dangerous. Funny, how things work. If it wasn't for Chris' decision to have Tony arrested, I wouldn't be in this situation. However, I realized I had already forgiven him. I love you, brother. Take care of yourself and your sister if I don't come back.
As if things weren't complicated enough, my car wouldn't start. I had to take a taxi. So much for means of getaway. What else is not going to work tonight?
The research complex was looming in front of me. I remembered how excited I felt when I first set foot in it. And here I was, months later, hating the sight of it. Where will I be eight hours from now? I wondered. In jail? Back at home? In some hole the government agents throw me in? Oh Watcher, I'm not brave enough, but I must be.
* * * * *
Chris
"We don't want to give a cause for gossip." Emily's words still echoed in my head. And she didn't want to get in my 'famous' car. Now more than ever I regretted not having cared about my reputation. After all that reckless fast-dating and numerous hook-ups any woman that was spotted with me these days earned the label of my conquest. As much I was attracted to Emily, I didn't want the same to happen to her. She wasn't like the others. She didn't pursue me. She didn't need or want anything from me. What was I thinking ogling at her like I did in public?
Why do you have to be married to that jackass, Emily? You are too good for him. She was too good for me also, but I at least was willing to admit it. I could picture myself spending my life with a woman like her. With her I would take the risk and settle down, start a family of my own, despite the fear of losing everything. With her I might find my peace. She seemed to emanate it when I stood next to her. I closed my eyes and tried to remember every detail of her face. Emily...
I barely noticed when Kellie left for work. I wondered if Terry would ask her out on Sunday. I wished my situation was as simple as his. If only I could ask Emily out. We would dine in the best restaurant in town or even better, somewhere private, just the two of us. Then I probably wouldn't be able to eat a single bite and just stare into her beautiful smokey blue eyes. She would give me a mysterious smile and benevolently overlook what an idiot I'm making out of myself.
I sighed when I heard scuttling of little feet on the stairs. Celeste. My youngest sister. She and my dad were constant reminders of how my life took the wrong turn when I was a teenager. I still had no clue how to deal with either of them, I couldn't look into their eyes. For different reasons though.
"Chris?"
"What is it, Midget? Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"I fear for Kellie."
"Why is that?"
"She called me little angel. She also told me she loved me and hugged me and held me for a very long time."
"And because of that you fear for her?" My little sister didn't make sense sometimes.
"Parents always hug their kids and say important things in the movies when something bad is about to happen. Then they die or get badly injured and lie in coma in the hospital."
"Miss Stuyvesant allows you to watch such movies?"
"We watch them together."
Kellie should talk to the baby-sitter. This was unacceptable.
I took a deep breath and turned around to face her. She was clutching her stuffed panda like a five-year old, which she wasn't anymore. "Nothing is going to happen to Kellie," I said.
"But she..."
"Stop it, midget. You're a big girl. You're too smart for such nonsense. Go back to bed. Now."
She pouted, which was a typical ending of most our discussions, and clutched her stuffed toy even more firmly. For another minute she was glaring at me. She waged a silent battle against me, that she could not win, then she pivotted on her heel and stomped off.
I realized I should stop thinking of Celeste as 'little'. She was almost a teenager. She will need to be strong. Stronger than I was. Hopefully. Who knows what she will have to face at my age? I was doing my best to ensure she lived in a safe place, but was it enough? None of our family could afford to be vulnerable, especially women. They could end up like my mother. Or like Emily for the matter. There were many kinds of crime and violence. I failed to save mom, but maybe I could help Emily somehow. I needed to talk to her again. Emily, please, help me to help you.
* * * * *
Tony
I was dreaming. I lived in a small farm with my wife and son. We kept a small flock of sheep and two cows. There was a large olive grove in the backyard of our house. We didn't have much money, but we were self-sufficient.
I was dreaming. I lived in a small farm with my wife and son. We kept a small flock of sheep and two cows. There was a large olive grove in the backyard of our house. We didn't have much money, but we were self-sufficient.
I was setting up a new swing for my little son. He was so eager to use it. "Voglio volare in alto, Papá! Voglio toccare il sole!" he shouted. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my son. If he wanted to fly and touch the sun, I would do my best to take him there.
My beloved wife emerged from the house. "Tony? Will you help me in the kitchen?"
I ruffled my son's hair. "La mamma ha bisogno di me, figliolo. Gioca da solo per un po', va bene?"
I wouldn't be able to tear him off the swing anyway. He'd be fine playing on his own for a while.
I followed my wife inside. She was heavily pregnant with our second baby. I knew it's a girl. I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms, watch her grow up and spoil her rotten, my little principessa. My son will carry my name and make me proud, but my daughter will be the light of my life.
"What do you need, tesoro?" I asked her.
I stood behind Beryl and wrapped my arms around her. With my hands gently resting on her stomach I was embracing both my beloved girls at the same time.
She gave a short laugh. "I can't remember. Watching you shirtless playing with our son completely messed up my thoughts. I'm afraid I stole you from Chris in vain."
"I can come up with an idea or two how you could employ me here, " I said with a playful smile as I pushed the strands of hair from her neck and started planting kisses there. "How about this?"
"Umm..." she said and it sounded more like a moan than anything else. "I remember now. I wanted you to take out the boxes over there."
"Or I could continue doing this," I suggested and kissed her shoulder.
She gave a happy sigh. "Let me think about it."
Think fast, amore," I said and started unbuttoning her dress, "because I'm becoming too focused on my current task."
"Tony! You need to stop. Chris could come in any moment!"
"No worries, the new swing is going to keep him busy for a while. Just as long as we need."
The dress slid down her shoulders, arms and hips, my hands carefully tracing its path. I continued tasting her skin and breathed in the smell of lavender soap...
... and strong disinfectant.
I opened my eyes and squinted in the bright white light, feeling disoriented and dizzy. Someone was standing over me, a blurry figure. A woman in a surgical mask. I blinked, willing my eyes to focus.
"Dove sono...? Quanto... quanto ho dormito?" I asked, my own voice sounded hoarse and unfamiliar to me.
The woman shook her head and bent over me, her gloved hand reaching to touch my face. Seeing the pair of eyes over the mask up close I finally recognized her. The Princess. Hers were the only eyes showing genuine concern. Other masked and gloved figures were just cold automatons programmed to stick needles in me. Yes, I was still in the research facility or whatever this place was.
"I don't understand what you're saying," she said and stroked my forehead. "I am sorry, Tony. I am so sorry I let it go this far. I will make it right. I promise."
"It's not your fault, Princess," I rasped.
I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that I might not leave this place alive, but I hated the thought she blamed herself for it. "Besides, it's not that bad. I can't even remember when was the last time I could stay in bed all day and have a pretty lady dance attendance on me."
She sat down at the edge of my bed and gently touched my shoulder. Then she quickly looked around and pulled a syringe out of the pocket of her lab coat. In a swift and precise movement she injected me with its content. Another virus? Or a quick death in the form of poison? I decided it didn't matter at this point, although I found the idea of her killing me strangely amusing. As quickly as the syringe appeared it disappeared in her pocket again, the whole action taking less than few seconds. Our eyes met.
"I gave you P-3104," she said in a quiet voice.
"Ah. The P-3104," I said in equally quiet tone. I felt the corners of my mouth twitch. I had absolutely no idea what the substance was, but I could use some high right now.
"It's an experimental preparation," she explained. "It will put you back on your feet. For a while."
I clicked my tongue and put on my most disappointed face. "Blast it! I knew the number was too short to be your phone."
She got up. "Be ready," she whispered cryptically and left. Things were positively going to hell if I couldn't even bring a smile into those big brown eyes of hers.
My mind was still fuzzy, trying to process the brief exchange between us. Be ready for what exactly?
I rested. The substance she gave me must have been working, for I felt some of my lost strength coming back to me slowly. I kept my eyes on Princess. Something was definitely off about her today. She didn't follow her usual routine, all her typical meticulousness was gone. She was picking up instruments and laying them down again haphazardly, misplacing them, making me want to get up and put everything in the right place after her. She often stopped in her tracks as if she forgot what she was supposed to do or looked through the glass into the other room with eyes wide open and her surgical mask inflating and deflating with her heavy breathing. Her erratic behaviour was giving me a terrible headache and worried me. I clenched my fists and had to look away for a moment, when she put an LCD measuring tester at the edge of the desk and it fell down on the floor.
It went on like this for at least two hours until the conversation with professor.
He noticed when I sat up to stretch my muscles a bit and he frowned. He beckoned to Princess. "Miss Heffner," he addressed her, "would you, please, sedate the subject? We don't want him to walk around the quarantine. We also need him ready for the surgery first thing in the morning."
A surgery?
"A surgery, professor?" Princess voiced my own thoughts.
What was most peculiar about Princess in the moment though, was her body language. She didn't act surprised at all. It almost looked as if she had been tense up until now, when her body loosened up at last. She slowly walked up to the professor and into his personal space. I cocked an eyebrow involuntarily. It was him who was surprised now. He took a step back from her.
"Yes, yes. A surgery. I and doctor Bachman agreed on that we must proceed to the next stage of the project."
I watched as Princess' hand slid into the pocket of her coat. I swallowed hard. What the heck? She isn't doing what I'm thinking she's doing, is she? I took a deep breath. I needed to stop her. I couldn't let her do the most stupidest thing in her life.
The professor went on. "We need more conclusive proof of the regenerative abi‒"
Before he could finish, he had a needle thrust in his neck. His hand groped for hers, but it was too late. Damn, she was fast.
"No," I heard her say flatly. "There won't be no surgery."
While part of me was still aghast, there was a primitive part that was actually thrilled by the sight, I would even go as far as to say aroused. That part gained the upper hand soon and all my previous worries and determination to stop Princess was forgotten. When she stabbed the needle in his jugular with surgical precision, my whole body started tingling with anticipation. I heard myself swallow loudly as I watched the old man's body go limp in a matter of seconds and slump on the floor.
I fixed my eyes on Princess, eagerly expecting her next move. I was a felid pacing behind iron bars of its cage, waiting to be let loose to join his mate in a hunt. Kill! Kill him! Finish him off! roared the beast within me.
Then she turned around and the perfect image shattered. There was no triumphant smile, no predatory sneer, but an utter terror written all over her face. My inner beast groaned disappointedly and went silent. And so the homo sapiens takes over again.
She was shaking and she didn't even kill the old man. I remember I was shaking too when I killed for the first time. I was exhausted physically and psychically after the gory job. I barely managed to walk out of the place and left a terrible mess after myself. I was so young and hurt, I went berserk. I was also very inexperienced and unprofessional back then. This was no time to reminisce, though. I needed to make Princess snap out of it.
I cleared my throat. "I presume the professor wasn't as lucky as me to receive the P-3104," I said carefully. "What did you use?"
My voice seemed to be enough to bring her back from wherever she was.
"I... uh... I used the..." She put the syringe away. "You don't want to know." She walked up to my bed. "Let's get you out of here. Quickly. Can you walk on your own?"
"Sure." I stood up and the floor started swaying under my feet. Princess caught me and steadied me. "I guess that's a no," I said.
She adjusted her grip in order to support me better so that we could walk.
"I hope you know, I'm not latching onto you for the wrong reasons, Princess. This is no snuggling or cuddling or anything."
"I know," she said and she smiled at last.
"If we ever cuddle for real, let me assure you, you'll know the difference."
We started moving to the door when I spotted something. "Would you mind if I took the scalpel from over there?" I asked and steered her to the lab table. "I might need something to defend myself with. I feel naked without a weapon," I added.
She shot a meaningful look at my torso, but didn't object, when I put the scalpel in my pocket. "I still have two more syringes," she informed me.
"Splendid. We are armed to the teeth then."
Translation of the Italian words and sentences:
Voglio volare in alto, Papá! I want to fly high, daddy!
Voglio toccare il sole! I want to touch the sun!
La mamma ha bisogno di me, figliolo. Gioca da solo per un po', va bene? Your mother needs me, son. Play on your own for a while, okay?
Principessa - Princess
Amore - Love
Tesoro - Treasure, Sweetheart
Dove sono? Where am I?
Quanto ho dormito? How long did I sleep?
Poses used in this chapter were made by: Helgatisha, Joannebernice, Princess Paranoia, Quiddity-jones, Rethdis-love, Sim-plyreality, Thespangleway and yours truly.
Special thanks to Thespangleway for the syringe accessory and to Neutralsupply and Quiddity-jones and to all my dear friends from Tumblr and Discord without whose assisstance and encouragement I would surely go insane when putting this chapter together.
To all of you lurking and commenting readers: if you want to come and say hi to me on Discord, I'll be more than happy to meet you. You can find me under #1442 tag and nick maladi777.
This chapter was written with love and no animals were harmed in the process.
Voglio volare in alto, Papá! I want to fly high, daddy!
Voglio toccare il sole! I want to touch the sun!
La mamma ha bisogno di me, figliolo. Gioca da solo per un po', va bene? Your mother needs me, son. Play on your own for a while, okay?
Principessa - Princess
Amore - Love
Tesoro - Treasure, Sweetheart
Dove sono? Where am I?
Quanto ho dormito? How long did I sleep?
Poses used in this chapter were made by: Helgatisha, Joannebernice, Princess Paranoia, Quiddity-jones, Rethdis-love, Sim-plyreality, Thespangleway and yours truly.
Special thanks to Thespangleway for the syringe accessory and to Neutralsupply and Quiddity-jones and to all my dear friends from Tumblr and Discord without whose assisstance and encouragement I would surely go insane when putting this chapter together.
To all of you lurking and commenting readers: if you want to come and say hi to me on Discord, I'll be more than happy to meet you. You can find me under #1442 tag and nick maladi777.
This chapter was written with love and no animals were harmed in the process.